Throughout my entire life, I have always seen myself as an ambitious person. There are many things I want to experience and I am always so anxious to do these things.
A week ago, I was FaceTiming one of my best friends. We don’t always get to see and talk to each other as much as we would like, so these calls often result in important and real life discussions. On this particular call, the topic of motivation was somehow brought up. I began to think about just why I was so highly motivated all of the time, and the more I contemplated about it, the more I realized just what was triggering this ambition.
My motivation is rooted in fear. It is by far not a healthy version of motivation, but it is what pushes me to do all of the things that I do. Because of the experiences I have had and society’s enforcements on my community, I have sadly taught myself that if I do not do everything as perfectly and with as much effort as possible, I will not succeed. Then all of the things I aspire to do will not be achievable. Again, this is highly unhealthy.
Ultimately, fear is all around us. Our society has altered lots of our stress into fear– making us even more anxious about the prospect of failure. The reason we do things now is often based on the need to do it for someone else instead of doing things that we want to do.
So with this horrible truth comes the question of:
How do I overcome this fear?
Beginning to fight fear is not easy. It’s debilitating, frustrating, and may take more time than you want it to. But the first wave that pushes positive motivation is understanding how to help the situation.
- Make a long and short term goal list. Discovering what your goals are is not something that you may be able to do in one sitting, so it will take time. But making this list helps narrow your motivation into a more positive light, instead of being distressed.
- There are many ways you can beat fearfulness, but the most obvious is simply facing it. Break free of your comfort zone. I know, much easier said than done. It may be frightening, but the more you begin to tackle the things you are afraid of, the more you will be able to grow and become less rooted in fear.
How do I fall in love with something that I dread so much?
My biggest piece of advice is to become involved in things you’re interested in. It’s hard to find time to do these things, but if you start small, you may be able to incorporate more of them into your life. Doing what you are passionate about may inspire your motivation to be more positive rather than be controlled by fear.
I believe one of the first steps is to find the one thing you look forward to. It could be your favorite class, your lunch break, or simply talking to someone that makes you happy. Finding something that you admire helps you get through the day easier. If you start to find the little joys that make you happier, whatever your day holds will turn into something you love to experience.
I have realized that love is a verb before it is a noun. Even if you really despise something, it is important to enter the situation with a positive attitude. It is possible to adopt a love for something, and you may eventually grow to look forward to the things that you used to dread. Once you find the one thing you love, you can try to turn that into making your whole day positive. You begin to find more joy and happiness in your daily life.
Motivation is temporary. But if you love something, then you really begin to strive for it. The situation then changes from “How can I get motivated?” to “How can I love this to the extent that I want to do my best?”
I hope that my ideas inspire you to accomplish whatever you need to.
Love, Valerie x
–I would like to sincerely thank my two friends, Liz and Nick, for having such beautiful souls and teaching me so much about life and myself. I would not know what I do now without you guys. You will forever have my gratitude.